Top Ten: Gettin Wiggy

Sometimes you wonder if the wardrobe department might have let things go to their head, so to speak. When a character's identity needed to be completely hidden, realism just seemed to get in the way. Here are some of the hairpiece horrors. (Sadly no pictures, see home page for reason).

1. Lisa Mullins and the Barbie Doll (685)
Lisa Mullins wore a fantastically false wig with suspicious dark glasses and her distinguishable voice, yet she was still able to get past the Wentworth officers and into the prison without the slightest suspicion. And not the only outing the wig had enjoyed, looking at an older incarnation of Helen Smart (123).

2. Judy Bryant and The Giant Haystack (172)
After a close encounter with Jock Stewart on the outside, a ruffled Judy was returned to Wentworth, complete with Shredded Wheat wig.

3. Bea Smith does Delia Smith (032)
An early display of Bea "Master of Disguise" Smith's obvious talent with clever camouflage, during an escape.

4. Bea Smith and the Rabid Guinea Pig (357)
More cunning disguise when Bea was on the run later on, working as a domestic for presumably a very short sighted woman.

5. Bea Smith and the Deidre Barlow (360)
Big and blonde and complete with enormous glasses. 'Blend-into-the-Background' Bea fled from her employer (mentioned above) as well as probability, with this nice little ensemble.

6. Ettie Parsow and The Crow's Nest (540)
Ettie tried to hold up a bank, though she would have been better trying to hold up her hairpiece, which seemed to make up the main part of her bank robber disguise.

7. Kath Maxwell and The Pam Ayres (687)
In order to see Merle in hospital, Kath decided to bury herself in a mop of auburn nylon. What's even more surprising, is that she was supposed to be disguised as Meg Morris.

8. Joyce Barry and the Starship Drooper (596)
As if her nasty bashing and hospitalisation weren't humiliating enough, Joyce returned to Wentworth with a range of clip-on doyleys and what Lou aptly described as her "bonzer wig". Curiously, a couple of episodes later, the hairpiece became even less convincing by changing into a completely different one that looked remarkably similar to the Kath Maxwell model (599).

9. Nola Mackenzie and the Black Sheep (331)
When Nola first arrived in Wentworth, as "Jean Carter", the dodgy wig made it through the strict induction process better than she did. All the more impressive as it seems to have been around since Bea Smith’s early days (see 3 above).

10. Helen Smart and the Corkscrew (164)
As part of an escape plan, Helen Smart had to disguise herself as Doreen to withdraw money from her bank account. Interestingly this impersonation seemed to get reversed when Collette Mann (Doreen) stood in for the character Caroline Gillmer (Helen) played in Neighbours years later, with equally laughable big hair.

Others worth a mention:

Just before an escape through an abandoned tunnel, we saw Bea Smith in possibly one of her more convincing and realistic wigs, while dressed as a pantomime ugly sister (165).

Apart from the unconvincing hairpieces used by stuntmen at various times (e.g. the flyaway one for Kathy Hall's death, the flip-top one in Andrew Hinton's death, the frightwig in Bobbie Mitchell's tractor ride, etc.), there were also occasional characters whose hair seemed to defy naturalness. Examples include a nursing Sister (077), an early bit-part named Janice (040), and the bizarre Scandinavian business woman Arna Johannsen (206).