Top Ten: Cringey Characters

There has been some discussion in the Prisoner mailing list recently about personal top tens of the most annoying characters in the series. It got me thinking. Here’s my own list with the reasons behind my choices. Comments about acting abilities and appeal are purely my own opinions.

1. Petra Roberts (383-407)
I have to say the blatant rehash of the Karen Travers / Greg Miller storyline was not a good start, and the character just came across as weedy and uninteresting. Maybe this could have been saved with a strong actress, though I don't think the swoony performance we ended up with helped much.

2. Shane Munroe (462-527)
Freckle-faced, gappy-toothed saccharine urchin. As with many child 'actors' in the series, horribly wooden and shouty performance, this time milked for far longer than was wise (or bearable).

3. Phil Cleary (475-498)
Dull character, made worse by a droney, monotone voice and drawling American accent. Rather than appear a love interest for Meg, he was actually more of a sex pest. Even after her rape ordeal, he continued to pester for her affections. Most memorable moment: getting a baseball bat in the belly during Lou Kelly’s escape attempt.

4. Ellen Farmer (354-360)
Despite the ridiculously obvious 'surprise' in the showers (Crying Game this ain't) he seemed to be more a prop than a serious character. So long as he had an adam's apple, it didn't seem to matter whether he was convincing, or the storyline remotely believable. A character that seems to epitomise the very worst of fantasy soap writing.

5. Jenny Hartley (540-588)
A character that was only memorable for her complete dullness, she tinkled with the piano and whined on and on about her innocence for what felt like hundreds of episodes. Her lack of appeal was only briefly surpassed by so-bad-it’s-good appearance of her Aunt Harriet and uncle Steven.

6. Alison Page (215-227)
One of several ‘middle-class-woman-out-of-her-depth’ characters in the series, with the common traits of being whiny, weedy and almost completely forgettable. Possibly the worst of the bunch, but also consider Gail Summers, Sally Dempster, and Vivienne Williams.

7. Marlene Warren (461-534)
Credit where it’s due, I think there were glimpses of some excellent acting behind the role of Marlene Warren. What made her cringeworthy was her passion for unfunny practical jokes, and her being responsible for some of the most embarrassing subplots of the series. (Think cockroach racing, aerobics, breaking world records, dance marathon, and fashion parade.) Thankfully her over-excited nature seemed to mellow and by the end of her time she had matured and even found a husband. But even so - Ozzie the Cockroach..?

8. Rosemary Kaye (391-402)
An innocent country girl with the word ‘victim’ going through her like a stick of Blackpool rock. (Think Susie Driscoll without the personality.) After a while, the victim thing just gets irritating, and you start to realise just how pointless the character was.

9. James Dwyer (561-689)
There seems to be a certain school of acting that confuses ‘acting’ with shouting and behaving angry. I can't recall any of his appearances when he wasn't being either. To be fair, he might have been a very good actor, but as he only ever got to show one emotion throughout, I’ll probably never know.

10. Sam Greenway (495-520)
Not a bad performance as such, and the ideas behind her story were ok. It was her obsessive habits that grated - going on and on about finding her mother.. her escape-pod robot.. her mural.. and her obsessive sketching in almost every scene. Something very odd there.