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Starting with a recap of the previous episode, where we relived the horror of Meg's pudding bowl haircut (which thankfully and without explanation, seemed to have returned to normal this episode).
Strange to see Costello the lawyer in yet another situation that could blow his cover, sitting in a car with a couple of stereotypical baddies, as if trying to make himself as visible as possible. And I think I heard the most bizarre "Scottish" accent of my life.
Meanwhile, plans were brewing with Fellowes and his stick-on facial hair. Later, we saw two baddies in hand-me-down SAS gear, in what must have been the easiest break-in of their criminal careers. First of all, one of them climbed up onto the roof of the gate house at the outer security gate without the guard even noticing. After garotting him, he simply opened the gate to let the vehicle in, drove up to the second gate and just shot the guard. Naturally, there was only one guard on each security gate, so it was all a bit of a doddle and I found it amazing that no-one had done it before. (Couldn't help but wonder why there was a wind sock on top of the gate house - presumably for the benefit of any more prisoners who might like to escape by helicopter?) After doing little more than walking/driving through the security gates without any fuss, they were then able to enter the main prison, where they stood - with full combat gear, face paint and huge guns - right in front of Joycie, who was so engrossed in her phone call she didn't even notice them. Blimey, it's hard work, this siege business.
(Perhaps they just aren't geared up to dealing with criminals in Wentworth.)
The bit-parts were coming out of the woodwork again today, and although the uncomfortable-looking officer with the white hair still had no dialogue, Lorna got at least three lines as she did tray duty, including "Not hungry?" and "Yes, Mrs Barry". I just hope one of those talent scouts was watching. And after a long absence, it was nice to see Alice back again - appearing in about 50 percent of the scenes, with the script writers taking full advantage of having to pay her for a 'speaking' episode. Although she was never the best actress in the series, I think she's actually very good with the subtle comedy moments - for example, when she was serving dinner -
Lexie: "Lurch might be a rat, but you still don't lag."
Lurch: "Right."
The awful Pippa was lounged all over Ann's sofa, covered in purple angora, with a purple bow in her hair, and purple earrings, resembling a large and rather nasty bruise. And Terri Gilmore - oops, Malone - was back. Hope she appreciated Joan's butch trouser look today.
After the brief excitement of Lou's punch to her stomach, Nora has gone back to what felt like her only topic of conversation - the baby. "If he [the father] is RH positive, the antibodies from the foetus could kill you!" said the mysterious doctor to Nora, right in front of Ann in the governor's office, presumably forgetting that doctors are supposed to respect patient confidentiality. "My baby's got to have every chance to live! You - you've got to find them!" cried Nora, almost making me forget to yawn. Poor thing, she was actually becoming less interesting than Jenny Hartley, which is not something I'd wish on anyone. She did have a potentially nice scene with Jenny in her cell, but although it was nicely written, and her performance was perfectly adequate, it felt a bit spoilt by Jenny sobbing and whimpering all over it. ("But I didn't do it!")
"Here is the news.." the television had said earlier in the episode, suddenly upping its own volume at precisely the right time, in that unusually clear and loud way that lets you know it's going to tell the prisoners something juicy. And sure enough, it spelled out the basic background to Jenny's imprisonment. For some reason, Lynn Warner flashed into my mind. But Lynn was a wholesome and naive girl with a sheltered upbringing, imprisoned for a crime she didn't commit, bullied and harrassed by the other women because of the nature of the crime, who constantly protested her innocence, and generally cried a lot. Not a bit like Jenny, of course. And the incident with the piano lid being slammed on Jenny's fingers didn't remind me one bit of the infamous scene where the laundry press was slammed down on Lynn's fingers.
May revealed that she knew "Old Mrs Hartley", because she'd burgled the house once. Amazing because, not only did she find out the victim's name, but also knew she was tight-fisted. Such a lot you can tell by walking off with someone's video. And we got to see the famous orange cardie that Ettie had said was "an Aunty May". Comparing this to the one May presented to Myra, I can only assume May's knitting skills have horribly deteriorated since she moved out of Barnhurst. Ettie in the meantime, seemed to have remembered she suffers from malapropisms, and came out with a strange spoonerism for Mata Hari (something like "Hairy Martyr"). Lucky she didn't decide to talk about Friar Tuck.
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