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I was surprised to see Kath Deakin's over-zealous squeal had been edited out of the pre-credits sequence. Anyway, Joyce was there to break the news about Frank: "He's got Dennis!". (The first of several significant Joycie moments this episode.) Never mind the re-run of the dangerous-crim-takes-a-screw-hostage (or the amazing fact that it doesn't happen more often in Wentworth), I was too busy being startled at Frank's cell, which seemed to be shrinking before my very eyes. I'm sure it was at least twice as big in the last episode. "If you're gonna kill me, do it now!" said a nauseatingly heroic Dennis, and I'm sure I wasn't the only person who wished Frank would listen to him for once.
Meanwhile there was trouble in the prison dining room, as the inmates were locked in, and within about 3 minutes, good old Joycie had managed to blab out the confidential information to the inmates. "Frank Burke has taken Dennis Cruickshank hostage. I can't tell you any more than that." Er..? While Joycie flexed her iron-like authoritative muscle before the angry inmates ("Stop it or there'll be trouble"), a riot broke out in the dining room. And a real Prisoner style riot, involving about 8 women, Alice turning a table on its side as a couple of bored-looking extras watched, and about three plates were thrown. (Of course, this served as another demonstration of why real prisons probably wouldn't use breakable crockery, as it was hurled at those non-speaking officers' bad hairdos. Apparently no rotten tomatoes were available.)
Marlene was under the table, possibly trying to find a decent subplot, and then a mysterious body-less pair of arms appeared and started to massage her shoulders before promptly disappearing again. Very strange.
Best bit had to be Joycie saving the day, bursting into reception to see Frank threatening Dennis with a dinner plate, and gasping over-theatrically, as possibly the second most hilarious fight sequence (after last episode's) took place. This featured Frank reaching in the vague direction of Joycie's ankle, as she screamed and seemed to climb onto the floor, as Dennis jumped around with his hands tied behind his back, before pinning Frank to the floor with his foot. All wonderfully improbable and slapstick, and highly Prisoner.
"I'm not used to all this carry on," said Joycie, a little too appropriately, making me look for Barbara Windsor on the screen. Perhaps she forgot she'd been kidnapped in exactly the same way a little while ago.
Meanwhile, the "lovers" seemed to hog most of the remains of the episode. Matt declared to Marlene that he couldn't even afford to buy her a ring. Of course, his ring wasn't the most important part to her. (Hetero culture can be so different sometimes). Actually, the scenes between Matt and Marlene (arguing), in the rec room (congratulations speeches), and between Marlene and Myra, were all very well written and acted I thought. A shame it was spoiled somewhat, by the over-sugary sentimental speech by Marlene afterwards, when I forgot about the character and felt so sorry for the actress.
Best line of the episode was from Matt, to a roomful of women, explaining why Marlene was upset: "You know what women are like."
I was amused by the scene in the new flat, involving Meg, Dennis and a tape measure. Obviously, as a woman with such a portfolio of past lovers and husbands, she’d need to check out how any new potentials measure up.
The conspicuously invisible Ray Proctor's name seemed to be popping up quite a lot this episode, in that familiar way that normally indicates a character about to be written out, after the actor had already left. And the appearance of Mervin Pringle. Hard to separate Mervin from Doreen's former penfriend, played by the same actor. Except that one was a bumbling, nervous, camp bachelor. This one is a bumbling, nervous, camp chef. What's also odd is Ray was the gay cook, yet in walks this one in his lilac zip-up jacket, worn done-up to the neck, throughout his interview with Meg. Surprisingly she didn't seem to notice, but after Dennis visited her for coffee the other episode and kept his long winter scarf on the whole time, I suppose she's used to that sort of thing.
After Mervin proudly showed Joycie his collection of kitchen knives, she informed him they'd have to stay in reception. Because they were dangerous weapons, you think? No, the prisoners already had easy access to razor blades, power tools, sharp broken crockery, poisons, etc, so there was no point taking them in. Meg asked him if he'd be ok with the pressures of the job - for example "preparing food for a large number of women". Not sure if I'd call ten or eleven women a "large number" - more like doing a dinner party on the cheap. Still, he should be able to cope, looking at all those impressive references.. which were mentioned over and over and over again, as if building up to something the writers didn't want us to miss. All the subtlety of Alice holding up the bottle of polish to the camera, and the huge (wobbly) Letraset letters spelling it out to the less-literate viewers - "O'CONNOR POLISH - 10% ALCOHOL". Just like real household chemicals, which always put the alcohol content in huge letters on the front of the bottle. Er, right.
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